if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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