All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
