And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize