me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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