i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
