She's JV to your varsity
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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