wake up i wanna do it froggy style
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be naked everywhere
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize