she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
