HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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