Im at strip club and am horny
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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