ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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