# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
and i looked up. we had an audience...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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