There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
