apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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