FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
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It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
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Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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