You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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