He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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