i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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