People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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