maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
