tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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