shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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