the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
