My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
