well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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