i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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