If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
