Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
