Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
