I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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