your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize