a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
