i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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