He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
