sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
