ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
