butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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