don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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