I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
