Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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