Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
