I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
