You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm experimenting with sincerity
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize