I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
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If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
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I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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