I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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