508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
