As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
