no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
