It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
