Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Can I color on your dick again?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
