Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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