Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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