Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize