Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
