my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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