Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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