Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize