as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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