My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize