guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
