after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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