There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
