I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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