It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
