Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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