Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
