he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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