yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
